Monday, January 30, 2006

Baby's Name

It is official now Ainayya Mardhiyya Muhammad Hidayat which means buah hatiku yg diredhai..
How do I translate that into English ? Who can help me with the translation?

Thank you for all the wishes!

My daughter Aimi said, there is only one member of our family who cannot drive a car and I was wondering who? Hahahah she said, baby Ainaiya of course!

Monday, January 23, 2006


The latest picture 24 hours after birth!

My new grandaughter , as yet without a name. I am calling her Rose Alia for the moment . Her parents are still deciding on a name!

Here is grandma holding Rose Alia!Can you see her looking at me with her little eyes?Why does she look so Japanesy?The red mark on her cheek is from the forceps that had to be applied coz Mum was very tired from a very long labour!

Meet the new grandma! My grandaughter arrived exactly on schedule, knowing how busy grandma is, on the Sunday that I had kept free for her arrival! She however made me wait the whole of Sunday and while her Mum was in labour the since night before , she chose to arrive at 6.30pm on the 22nd of January 2006!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

We can't escape

These are all quotes:

Or deemed ye that ye would enter paradise while yet Allah knoweth not those of you who really strive, nor knoweth those (of you) who are steadfast ? (Quran S. 3:142)

And among mankind is he who worshippeth Allah upon a narrow marge so that if good befalleth him he is content therewith, but if a trial befalleth him, he falleth away utterly. He loseth both the world and the Hereafter. That is the sheer loss. (Quran S. 22:11)

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them."

-- Orison Swett Marden

We can’t escape problems and negativity. Escaping just brings denial and suppression - we continue to carry the problem with us. Ironically, it is our lack of acceptance and resistance to the problem that creates the pain. Resistance builds up an energy wall or block that, if not discharged, gets suppressed into the body. These blocks identify places where we have not enough understanding or love.

For health, we must work through what we seek to avoid. How do we do this? We can love parts of ourselves that we don’t like. We can seek the lessons we are being invited to learn through the problem. We can examine our beliefs and seek to see different perspectives and a bigger picture. As our perspectives grow, more of life makes sense and has meaning. Rob Robson

"The Lord is a good psychologist: he knows the way our minds run. Turmoil can be the Lord's way of tapping us on the shoulder and saying, 'Don't forget me.'"

-- Eknath Easwaran

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Dancing Men

I did tell Pycno I was going to do a training for men and would ask them to dance. And here they are doing a dance. The wordings they are singing,
Allah Allah kami datang, Nabi Muhamad ikutan kami.
And the part about looking into each other's eyes:
Renungan mata tajam dan ikhlas tanda ukhuwah dan kasih sayang!

Weekend escapades

Pudu Raya
Ah! The bus is finally here!
Hubby with Chong
It has been hectic these past weeks . I have not had one weekend where I was not off galivanting somewhere. So just now when my aromatherapy massage therapist gave me my monthly massage, I fell asleep almost immediately and only woke to change positions. It sure feels good and I am about ready to have a restful sleep!

Here are a few pictures of my escapades.

On the last weekend of 2005 we went to Kedah as I mentioned earlier . Hubby insisted on going. Since he became ill and recovered , he has a different perspective on things and values friendship deeply so he felt it was nothing to travel all night to attend a friend's son's wedding! I hate to drive and would never dream of driving long distance and hubby can t see well enough to drive yet so we took 2 buses to reach Alor Star. He asked a young friend to buy us the ticket from Pudu Raya. Hubby makes many friends from those he trained when he was director of Hospital Melaka , among them young nurses.Chong in the picture above is a newly qualified male nurse who works in HKL.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Melaka our heritage

A few weeks ago , a friend from Sabah spent the night at our home, a whole Unser full of them! The next day we brought them to A Famosa and as I walked into the remains of the old Fort ,
There was an artist named Danial Wasu sitting inside inside with his drawings . I should scan a few so you can see what beauties they were. He had some very old paintings and pictures he had inherited from his grandad who collected them a long time ago and the scenes were from Melaka's past. Danial knew a lot of history of Melaka and his drawings spoke to us about the past. Of coconut trees and kampung houses , of our former occupiers, of a time long gone when things were much slower and life was perhaps less complicated.
Picture above , we are having a meal at a restaurant in the Melaka Trade center.

Danial is from a mixed Portuguese Indian parentage and to complicate matters, he married a Malay wife and is now Muslim.

Hubby chosing a drawing

Danial doing a sketch

Hubby talking to Danial

The enterance to the alcove where Danial sat with his paintings

If you want to reach Danial , I took his cell phone number 0196361653

Friday, January 13, 2006

Factory Girl!

She gets up at 4 am

The bus comes at 5 am
She reaches her factory at 6.20 am
And starts work at 7 am
She leaves the factory at 7 pm
And reaches home by 9 pm

She goes to sleep at 10.30 pm
And the cycles starts again
Is there a life outside the factory?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


This is a continuation of my post on anxiety. Gratitude or syukur is a cure for anxiety.People who are anxious tend to focus on the negative and on what they are having problems with but seldom see what they already have and what they are not suffering from.
Now imagine being upset over the soaring price of vegetable and the lack of hot water from my solar heater because of the last few days being extra cloudy rainy and cold when the people in Pakistan who had just suffered an earthquake are going through a freezing winter! When you focus on what you have , praise the Lord! You stop feeling anxious and stop grousing and stop thinking , poor me...

When I am intent on writing something about something I think people collaborate with me to help me out so here is a little help from Phillip Humbert's newletter:

The Extraordinary Power of Gratitude

Over the years, one of the great mysteries I've observed is the relationship between gratitude and power.

Far too often, we link gratitude with a sense of relief or weakness and I think that's a mistake. In my opinion, gratitude is one of the great sources of energy, creativity and power known to man, and unlike other energy forms, it's free and available whenever we choose to access it.

Whenever I work with top performers, one of the things I notice is their sense of appreciation, humility, and gratitude. Now, obviously, we have all seen people who are rich or powerful and do not appear to be grateful.

I remember seeing a famous actor in a Palm Springs country club being rude to an employee. For all his fame and good looks, something seemed "off" about that brief interaction and it didn't surprise me when, a few months later, his career collapsed in an arrest, divorce and substance abuse problems. As a wise man once said, "Pride goeth before a fall."

On the other hand, one of the marks of true success is a sense of perspective. Truly successful people often remember their humble beginnings, or appreciate that for all their wealth or power, they depend on the skills of other people to run their operations. They are able to appreciate the "little things" and understand that life is short and full of unexpected twists and turns.

One of the things that has surprised me about Donald Trump's show, "The Apprentice" is the consistently nice things the contestants have had to say about Mr Trump. While he often seems angry or arrogant on television, the interviews I've seen suggest that is not the whole picture. In person, I understand he treats people well, has a good sense of humor and is very generous.

Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Hanks and President Jimmy Carter come to mind as examples of famous people who appear, at least when I've seen them interviewed, to be "ordinary people." They understand the power of gratitude.

Here's the thing. There are basically three ways to face life, and our "stance" makes all the difference.

We can face life with arrogance, believing that we are the center of the universe. Usually, life teaches us otherwise.

Or, we can face life with a sense of fear and powerlessness. Obviously, this stance inhibits action and gets little or nothing done.

Finally, we can come at life from a stance of gratitude and wonder. Curiosity may have "killed the cat" but it also invented the light bulb, airplanes and tennis balls. Curiosity and creativity, it seems to me, come from a fundamental stance of joy, gratitude, thanksgiving and excitement about life.

Arrogance and fear stifle creativity. If we "know it all" there's nothing to learn and we never grow. If we live in fear, life is about hunkering down and protecting ourselves, and we never adventure out. Only gratitude can stimulate growth, curiosity and joy.

This week, Americans celebrate our Thanksgiving holiday, and it is not only a favorite holiday, but one of tremendous significance. It reminds us that we are a fortunate, blessed, and extremely POWERFUL people not because of our army or navy, but because of our gratitude. Thanksgiving, joy, power, adventure, even love itself are the source of true success in life. Thanksgiving lets us take chances. It energizes and liberates us.

This week, practice the "attitude of gratitude" and see what you can unleash.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

When Anxiety gets serious

This is from the newsletter

My perspective on the redha and syukur soon ..

When Anxiety Gets Serious
Most people experience anxiety at some point in their lives as well as some nervousness in anticipation of a real situation. However if a person cannot shake unwarranted worries, or if the feelings are jarring to the point of avoiding everyday activities, he or she most likely has an anxiety disorder.

Symptoms: Chronic, exaggerated worry, tension, and irritability that appear to have no cause or are more intense than the situation warrants. Physical signs, such as restlessness, difficulty falling or staying asleep, headaches, trembling, twitching, muscle tension, or sweating, often accompany these psychological symptoms.

Formal Diagnosis: When someone spends at least six months worried excessively about everyday problems. However, incapacitating or troublesome symptoms warranting treatment may exist for shorter periods of time.

Treatment: Anxiety is among the most common, most treatable mental disorders. Effective treatments include cognitive behavioral therapy, relaxation techniques, and biofeedback to control muscle tension. Medication, most commonly anti-anxiety drugs such as benzodiazepine and its derivatives, also may be required in some cases. Some commonly prescribed anti-anxiety medications are diazepam, alprazolam, and lorazepam. The non-benzodiazepine anti-anxiety medication buspirone can be helpful for some individuals.

My note:
I have extremely rarely prescrined benzodiazepines or other anti anxiety drugs , preferring spiritual counselling breathing techniques, EFT and homeopathy

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The illness behind anxiety 1

If you have not read this post , then read it first since this is a continuation of the previous writing.

I had already mentioned about lack of syukur and will get back to it later.For now I want to talk about letting go. The truth is that it is easier said than done and the fact that I understand it does not make it any easier for me. It does however lessen my anxiety when I am able to remember and do it. Surah 65 the 2nd and 3rd verse reads like this:

Whoso believeth in Allah and the Last Day is exhorted to act thus. And whosoever keepeth his duty to Allah, Allah will appoint a way out for him, (QS. 65:2)
And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things. (QS. 65:3)

In this verse the whole concept of letting go is there. What is there to do when everything is God's to command and God sets the measure? All one has to do is to tawakkal which here has been translated as keep duty to God but which I see as surrendering to God and letting God be in charge. I have no doubt we worry anyway but when we remember we are not in charge then the burden we think is on us is not the burden on us. In another verse God says:

Nay, but verily man is rebellious (QS. 96:6)
That he thinketh himself independent! (QS. 96:7)
It is this thinking , that we are independent and are in charge that creates a lot of anxiety for in truth we are never in full control , our powers are puny and limited and there is sometimes very little we can do to stop things from happening. So letting go and letting God is one of the remedies for anxiety and not letting go and not letting God opens the door to a lot of anxiety.

Addendum: In the morning when I am not so sleepy:
There was a story about a mountain climber who fell from a cliff but was hanging by the cliffside by his rope. He made a prayer to God, save me please ! He heard a voice in his heart that said to him I will save you, just let go of the rope and let yourself fall. He did not trust the voice and refused to follow.
A few days later there was a news in the papers about a man who was found dead hanging by his rope by the side of the cliff but there was a ledge only 2 feet down from where he was only the ledge was hidden from view from the climber by a tree.

Had this man let go, he would not have died.

The Illness behind Anxiety

I have made an observation that behind anxiety are 3 conditions:
The first of which is lack of a state of grace called Syukur . Of course there are reasons beyond the 3 things I am going to expand on but correcting these 3 states will actually go a long way in healing from anxiety ..I will be adding to this article daily I hope, since lately I found myself with a severe time managment problem , meaning I have too many things to do and the same time as everybody else to do it of course indulging in time wasting activities like getting stuck with a Korean TV series ...aaarrrgh!

And here is an anecdote I found from the defective yeti blog. It is a variation of what I am used to hearing.

I wept because I had no shoes, until I met a man with no feet.

And Lord, all that guy could talk about was having no feet. He'd be, like, "Return of the King? No, I haven't seen that movie ... because I have no feet!" Or "thanks for the pie but I didn't really enjoy it, what with the having no feet and all."

So I reminded him that there were men with no legs. That shut him up.

Plus, then I found my shoes under the bed, so everything worked out great.

Posted on January 26, 2004

So what is anxiety and how does it manifest?
From the Wikipedia I have this:


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Anxiety is a complex combination of the feeling of fear, apprehension and worry often accompanied by physical sensations such as palpitations, chest pain and/or shortness of breath. It may exist as a primary brain disorder or may be associated with other medical problems including other psychiatric disorders.

Anxiety is often described as having a cognitive, a somatic, an emotional and a behavioral component (Seligman, Walker & Rosenhan, 2001). The cognitive component entails expectation of a diffuse and uncertain danger. Somatically the body prepares the organism to deal with threat (known as an emergency reaction); blood pressure and heart rate are increased, sweating is increased, bloodflow to the major muscle groups is increased, and Immune and digestive system functions are inhibited. Externally, somatic signs of anxiety may include pale skin, sweating, trembling and pupillary dilation. Emotionally, anxiety causes a sense of dread or panic, nausea and chills. Behaviorally, both voluntary and involuntary behaviors may arise directed at escaping or avoiding the source of anxiety. These behaviors are frequent and often maladaptive in the anxiety disorders. However, anxiety is not always pathological or maladaptive: it is a common emotion alongside fear, anger, sadness and happiness, and it has a very important function in relation to survival.

Neural circuitry involving the amygdala and hippocampus is thought to underlie anxiety (Rosen & Schulkin, 1998). When confronted with unpleasant and potentially harmful stimuli such as foul odors or tastes, PET-scans show an increased bloodflow in the amygdala (Zald & Pardo, 1997; Zald, Hagen & Pardo, 2002). In these studies, the participants also reported moderate anxiety. This might indicate that anxiety is a protective mechanism designed to prevent the organism from engaging in potentially harmful behaviors such as feeding on rotten food.

A chronically recurring case of anxiety that has a serious effect on a person's life may be clinically diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. The most common are Generalized anxiety disorder, Panic disorder, Social anxiety disorder, phobias, Obsessive-compulsive disorder, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

You d be surprised how many of my patients have anxiety and how many people go in and out of clinic after clinic because of anxiety. I had a chance to address this issue with two people yesterday , one was a friend and the other was a patient, an old lady who had been coming to me many times because of anxiety.My friend on the other hand was a stickler for order and cleanliness and had to stay with her mother in law in a very disorderly and untidy not to mention grubby house! You can imagine the level of anxiety she had. As she put it , it felt as if her heart would explode! She had been putting up with it for more than 15 years !

I put it to both of them that the problem lay in 'diseases of the heart ' and I did not mean the physical heart but the spiritual one! The 3 'diseases' I said to them was
1. lack of thankfullness ( shukur)
2.lack of acceptance ( redha)
3.lack of letting go ie let go and let God ( tawakkal)

To be continued.