Thursday, October 18, 2007


This video does a lot to dispell stereotypes. Perhaps Asian Muslims can do another one to show how diverse Muslims are

Monday, October 15, 2007

Do you still remember?

Ku Nur Hanim
Hubby, daughter Hana and Ku Bahadur
My mum and Mak Tuan

I visited a very old friend and her parents this Hari Raya. I had been thinking a lot about old friends and had longed to make contact with many of them. You might say it had something to do with my deep desire to communicate and to make contact in a deep way with people .
This lead me to reminenesce about my childhood and my childhood friends .

I used to live at 1242 Jalan Changkat off Jalan Gasing Petaling Jaya.

My earliest memories of PJ was when I was 3 years old , I remember mum bringing home a baby sister whom I immediately wanted to carry , I did carry her, my mum screamed which made me drop baby sister, luckily, on to the bed. This was before we moved to the government quarters at Jalan Changkat.

Bukit Gasing or Gasing Hill was one of our haunts, and so was the rubber treed area that became a jungle on Gasing Hill. I remember trekking in this 'jungle' and getting lost for a bit..what an adventure! I was with cousin Zamil and my sister Salina and a few others whose names elude me now. At other times I climbed Gasing Hill after school with friends . I remember Din, Hanim and Ayee.

Hanim, I remember going to your house just too often . My parents used to have to go fetch me because I did not want to go back. I constantly sought you out and knew all your sisters well. I enjoyed meeting you again after 20 years or more!

Do you remember? There was that slope in front of my house wherewe used to drag an old grass mat up the little slope and then we gleefully slid down the slope while on the mat. It was our version of a sled I suppose.

How about the times we wheeled our bicycles up the long sloping road that lead to my house and then rode the bicycle down this slope not needing to paddle ..what a joy ride!

Where are you Din? I remember the ubi kayu moden trees in your compound and playing police and thief in the tree tops! How lost you were when your Mum died in an accident. I was in std 3 and you were in std 4. My heart went out to you that day of the funeral . Your mum was the kindest lady I knew then. She did not have a bad word for anyone and all her friends loved her. Pakcik Rahim was devastated.

I was the youngest in our group and was often bullied , what with being a cry baby and so very gullible . I think it was out of a need for my friends that I continued to join my friends inspite of all the bullying. I was the eldest in my own family and had no older brothers and sisters , so my friends became my older brothers and sisters.

I also remember Abang, Intan's brother, Where are you Intan? Remember how we used to climb up the top shelves of the built in cupboard of the government quarter houses we used to stay in? Then we jumped joyfully onto our beds below! It was our version of the joyrides that are now in the theme parks I suppose. It is a wonder non of us got hurt! Abang, I almost forgot your name Azmil Mustafa until I saw you acting in the film Ali Setan. How could I forget your distinctive features? I never met you again but from time to time I hear about you . You no longer act I know, you are now a pendakwah!

Rehman Rashid, I still have a photo of you and Rafiq . I had my arms around both you and Rafiq , I was in the middle in this photo. I do not remember much about you and the last time I saw you , you were a handsome and witty young man from the debate team that came from MCKK to TKC , I was in form five then, and how I admired not only your good looks but your wit and style . I googled your name and found you even have a wikipedia entry. Auntie Rosnah your mum called me when my daughter Maryam was getting married , she congratulated me and sent her regrets that she could not come to the wedding. My mum had invited her.

When I remember my childhood, from long ago, I realise that people had time for each other back then. We enjoyed each other's company, we appreciated each other. My parents had deep friendships that have survived up till now for my mum keeps in touch with all her old friends, some of whom she had known from even before she was married. What has happened to us now , that we get so immeresed in our work that our only friends are our colleagues at work and those we meet in meetings, be they NGO meetings or business meetings?

Then there are those yearly Hari Raya gatherings where we meet for a short while our relatives , some we meet yearly only for Hari Raya . What superficial talk we engage in , hardly getting to know each other or engaging one another in a deep way. I feel sad that we do not really have the time nor do we even have a desire or interest in other people.

I was just lamenting to my daughter that when we go shopping in the supermarket , we are all busy and so focused on our shopping that the crown around us appear invisible and we do not interact with these strangers. It is as if people are invisible to us, we do not look at faces, we do not see their persons nor are we interested in them. I sometimes ask myself , so why do we need these new bags and new shoes for ? Is it to impress people? What people since nobody notices you most of the time....the words of an old Beatles song keep playing in my mind..
All the lonely People...........
Lonely people shopping

Again , it was out of a need to deeply engage with people that I joined My Space. I was utterly disappointed indeed when most of the people who made contact wanted to pick up ...aaargh, could they not see my age? Sheesh , my daughter said, Mum maybe they want a sugar mummy...! Only one person who read my Bio has engaged with me in a way that is meaningful and I hope I have added value to his life and I certainly feel he has added value to mine.

End of rant......sigh.....

Saturday, October 06, 2007

To be relevant

The three year old child was irritating me by her pushing a chair to sit next to me. She sat gawking at me and the computer screen in front of me. She tried to help her little sister open her mouth , of course that made her sister shut her mouth even tighter! Her mama without lifting a finger said innefectively ," Rina, no, don ' t do that . Rina will you please take that chair back to its place."
Rina did not budge, instead she moved the chair even closer.

I tried to put aside my irritation, I tried instead to understand .This child, like all human beings wanted attention. She wanted to be noticed , she wanted to be useful , she wanted to be relevent.
We all do!

I focused my attention on her, tousled her hair and smiled at her, giving her something of what she needed and wished that I did that more often, focus attention on a fellow human, recognise their need to be relevent and make them feel relevent .

I wish also that more people realised I too have a need to feel relevent , that I matter and I am worthy, worthy of your love and your attention and at the same time I know, the closer I draw to God, the less I need this assuarance for, I would have transcended this need and instead be an extension of the Universal consciousness that bears witness to all and is present to all that is in the MOMENT!

Friday, October 05, 2007

Cat Stevens - If you want to sing out

There is hope yet, if you learn to understand that there really IS a million different ways to be and to do!

If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out

If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out

Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are

And if you want to live high, live high
And if you want to live low, live low
'Cause there's a million ways to go
You know that there are

You can do what you want
The opportunity's on
And if you can find a new way
You can do it today
You can make it all true
And you can make it undo
you see ah ah ah
its easy ah ah ah
You only need to know

Well if you want to say yes, say yes
And if you want to say no, say no
'Cause there's a million ways to go
You know that there are

And if you want to be me, be me
And if you want to be you, be you
'Cause there's a million things to do
You know that there are


Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
And if you want to be free, be free
'Cause there's a million things to be
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are
You know that there are

Cat Stevens

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Balancing our energy centers

Can you help how you think and feel? Can you change your thoughts or do you never even try?
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you thought it is a need? Or , is that thing you wanted so badly showing you there is something you need to fill a vacuum within your being?

Being human is being able to observe youself and your thoughts as well as your emotions and being able to make adjustments to correct the energy imbalances.

Consider the following, some are my own observations, some have been expounded in scientific journals or health articles and , if you cannot agree with anything I write seemingly as facts, feel free to disagree.

When we crave for sugar , it is not sugar that we lack but proteins.

When we feel we need to eat more often than is healthy, it is not because our stomach is empty but because our life has an emptiness which we need to fill with the sensual pleasure of eating.

If you want to watch or read only happy endings and scenes of murder and mayhem disturb you beyond the ordinary , it is because you yourself are looking for that happy ending and view your life in the future tense and do not live in the present. It could also be you are an idealist who cannot understand why there needs to be such cruelty in human existence.

Obsessively thinking about someone or something or obsessively engaging in some activities at the expense of other activites create imbalances in your energy centers which in turn affects your effectiveness as a human being . I am referring to those who are in love or think they are, those who focus on sex , those who focus on food , those who glue themselves to the telly , those who spend all their free time on a computer game or a hobby to the exclusion of other areas of focus.

So how do we gain a balance? How do we complete ourselves being that we are such creatures of impulse emotion and thought, when we are such creatures of habit and reflexes? How do we change when all our indulgences make us lose our health and thus our energy which in turn makes us even more helpless to change?

There is this D word which I really am at war with. I constantly battle with the D losing it, and then regaining it , and then losing it again the next time a tempest of emotion affects me . My constant battle with the D makes me resent people who work like clockwork , have routines that create balance .It makes me look with horror when people indulge in eating orgies at buffet dinners and lunches and especiallyRamdhan buffets (you fast all day , your tummy has been without food or drink for more than 12 hours and suddenly you come face to face with drinks of all flavours and food of such myriad varieties and taste that you wish you were in heaven and can eat all you want without facing the consequences...alas for the limitations of this embodiment!) It makes me exclaim with amazement when they tell me they take mee maggie for sahur and never take their vegetables. It makes me feel sorry for those who do not have 5 daily prayers to reorientate and rebalance their energy centers.

The D word I mean is discipline. Discipline is when you go against your inclinations and fight your thoughts and emotions to do that which will move you towards a constant increase in capacity and realisations and performance as a human being. It is what will help you perfect your soul for nothing elses matters in the end . The sweet fruits of discipline will yield pleasure and satisfaction beyond your wildest dreams and fill you with bliss beyond that which you think possble.

Of course having Discipline is not enough. One must also have the knowledge to know what needs to be done . Like for example, the sugar craver needs to know that what is needed is to take more balanced meals with adequate proteins and complex carbohydrates.

The lovelorn love sick need to address their needs for the beloved by focusing on improvng themselves not merely to impress but to harness the energy of love to transform themselves.

And so on and so forth....I could go on explaining but I think you get the picture.