Monday, September 05, 2005

Workshop over the weekend

I was in KL over the weekend, at the Legend to be exact.I actually do not like worshops very much but go anyway for the occasional gems I can get from the distinguished speakers.When the speakers are not very interesting my body has a way of switching off and I really do not hear anything , at least not with my conscious mind ;) .

Here are a few gems from Dr Walter Ling;
The adolescent mind is a mind under construction. It is best to keep this mind under construction in a safe environment for it to develope. In other words, let whatever needs to blow itself out or apart or whatever in an environment which is safe ..mind you I know what it does not mean is to restrict the adolescent..there is a fine line between letting loose and total control which parents and educators have to find. This workshop was one about drugs and adolescents are at that age when they want to live dangerously and the connection between the emotional center seeking rewards is not very well linked to the thinking part that understands long term consequences of actions and once exposed to these mind changing and brain changing drugs in the adolescent age, there is no reversing things!

Here is some more on the adolescent brain

Summary of New Research on Adolescent Brain Development

Recent developments in brain research provide scientific support to the theories on the limitations of youth's decision-making.

  • Researchers at UCLA, Harvard Medical School and the National Institute of Mental Health have traced the development of a child's brain to adulthood.

  • Through neuroimaging technology researchers have discovered that in a process called "myelination" a normal healthy adolescent brain develops during adolescence.

  • The brain's maturation process continues through adolescence and is not complete until the early 20's.

  • The area not yet fully refined and focused in the adolescent mind is called the prefrontal cortex.

  • The prefrontal cortex is the largest section of the brain, slowest to develop, and undergoes the most drastic changes during adolescence.

  • The prefrontal cortex is responsible for complex thinking. It allows the mind to organize, perform abstract thinking, prioritize, anticipate consequences, control impulses and conform behavior accordingly.

  • To compensate for the underdevelopment of the prefrontal cortex, the adolescent brain relies heavily on another area of the brain called the amygdala, which creates a tendency to react on instincts.

  • Biologically, adolescents do not have the same abilities as adults to control their actions and make sound decisions.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tell me how do you manage an adolescent boy who is extremely brand-conscious, materialistic and seeks attention endlessly?

Suriya said...

I ve been there! You can t do anything about it except set the rules. Make sure you do not give more money than you should, and if they want branded, my ruling is that they get less clothes because I budget the money they get.
As for attention, give them guality time , not quantity with no quality ...Face them, really listen, repeat their words back to them , ask them to clarify what they mean ..really respond even if you cannot agree...don t say I see what you mean but, instead say, I see what you mean and....
When they reach their early twenties then you ll see the result, until then , the only thing I can say is, have patience

Anonymous said...

Just a comment. Repeating words back to people especially if they're close to you is usually insulting to them... They'd stop speaking to you rather than hear words repeated back. Try imaganing a talking parrot. It's amusing at first and you might try new words to see whether it could repeat them but it gets old quickly and downright annoying later on. Rather try to understand and then say it back to them in your own words. Understand the words AND the feelings behind it. Lets say when your son says "Mom I don't want to study anymore" Doesn't hurt to reply "Everything's going wrong at school kiddo? You sound upset." or just say "Studies may not be what you need right now. You really sound like you're seriously frustrated with it." he just wants to see how you respond at first. He'll open up more as he goes along and most likely would decide to continue school anyways. just wants to let things out.. maybe after he's all cool you could ask "you're serious about school?" and start a new conversation all over again and help him along.

also about getting what they're saying sometimes just listening is enough. i see what you mean... period. better yet if you just appreciate and sympathize or anything according to what the person is saying. continuously trying to add to their story "i see what you mean and..." just frustrates them. Frankly I'd rather not talk to people who seems to always want to advise me all the time. When I talk I want to talk. When I seek opinion I'll ask for it. Listen without judgement.

I'm speaking as a teenager and I'd rather not say how my parents are thank you. I just think that though the technique comes from caring, it sounds hollow and fake to a teenager. I don't know how adults think so sorry. Just giving my opinion. there are no shortcuts to giving attention. they'd find attention elsewhere most likely given enough time or lack of it..

Anonymous said...

Just a comment. Repeating words back to people especially if they're close to you is usually insulting to them... They'd stop speaking to you rather than hear words repeated back. Try imaganing a talking parrot. It's amusing at first and you might try new words to see whether it could repeat them but it gets old quickly and downright annoying later on. Rather try to understand and then say it back to them in your own words. Understand the words AND the feelings behind it. Lets say when your son says "Mom I don't want to study anymore" Doesn't hurt to reply "Everything's going wrong at school kiddo? You sound upset." or just say "Studies may not be what you need right now. You really sound like you're seriously frustrated with it." he just wants to see how you respond at first. He'll open up more as he goes along and most likely would decide to continue school anyways. just wants to let things out.. maybe after he's all cool you could ask "you're serious about school?" and start a new conversation all over again and help him along.

also about getting what they're saying sometimes just listening is enough. i see what you mean... period. better yet if you just appreciate and sympathize or anything according to what the person is saying. continuously trying to add to their story "i see what you mean and..." just frustrates them. Frankly I'd rather not talk to people who seems to always want to advise me all the time. When I talk I want to talk. When I seek opinion I'll ask for it. Listen without judgement.

I'm speaking as a teenager and I'd rather not say how my parents are thank you. I just think that though the technique comes from caring, it sounds hollow and fake to a teenager. I don't know how adults think so sorry. Just giving my opinion. there are no shortcuts to giving attention. they'd find attention elsewhere most likely given enough time or lack of it..