What is Sufism really ?

Dr Roza said:

nurelhuda- I believe tasauf has been part and parcel of Rasulullah's s.a.w. teachings. The problem arises when people starts to separate it , tearing it away , putting it in a 'speical' position (almost like making it secular), giving it a certain nomenclature and finally practicing it as separate entity. Those are the deviant ones.Sufism, as long as it conforms to the teachings of Rasulullah like all other 'wadah' (like tariqat for instance) is insyallah allowed. After all, it's a tool to get closer to Allah swt.

This is what I have to say as a reply:
When one says it is a tool, then that tool is something that needs to be taught. If a religous teacher teaches you to pray and to read the Quran but he only passed on to you the words without the spirit behind the words, you will not get the spirit and that spirit is sufism.

Rasul SAW was a Mercy to all of Humanity ( Rahmatan Lil Alamin) not a mercy to Muslims only which means that the spirit of Islam pervades all that is good in Humanity.When I say the spirit of Islam, I do not mean the cultural Islam , what I mean is the Universal meaning of Islam which means Surrendering to God's will. What does surrendering mean? To understand the meaning of surrender one would have to live a life of doing God's will every instant of time in one's life..It is to this goal that the Believer journeys.It is for this reason we ask for guidance in our prayers 17 times a day" Eh dinasiaratal mustaqim" and it is for this reason we are constantly saying Astaghfirllah...bowing humbly to God for not succeeding fully....

God in His Mercy made humans able to seek and find Haq which is truth and truth is Universal in Nature , not relegated or belonging to any race or any religion for that matter.
Those who have an awakened spirit, an awakened heart will recognise the Haq as if it is their own child . It would resonate in their very beings and make them tremble and vibrate and bring tears to their eyes.

There are even times when those we call deviant have more recognition of the Haq than those we think are in the right for in the end it is not our judgement that matters but that of God's.

It is my conviction that no human has the right to think of another as a deviant or wrong in what they believe. Our duty is to remind our friends our colleagues and our brethren to do good and doing good means helping humankind, helping justice, helping the environment .

As the surah Al Asr says:

Surely mankind is at a loss
Except those who have faith ( Faith in God and faith in the hereafter)
And do good deeds
And remind each other to Truths
And remind each other to Patience.

Finally, I would like to add, many speak of that they know nothing of and it is like trying to imagine what a durian looks feels and tastes like without having even seen one...only hearing about it from others who have a mixed reaction ..some say it is heavenly, some say it is obnoxious ......and someone decides to pick one opinion via heresay and speak on it as if they' ve seen it or tasted it....

Modes of Learning

A patient of mine who suffers from anxiety neurosis from time to time..there are times when he thinks he is almost normal asked me yesterday how to be peaceful. I wanted to teach him a technique that would help , and I asked him to focus on his breathing. He stopped me and said , no, not now , I 'll do it at home, just give me the instructions and whatever zikr . I told him..yes I can do that and you can then go home and try it and nothing happens, it does not help. Why would that be he asked. I replied, when you do it with me, I am taking you through the moves and there are verbal and also non verbal things that get communicated.When you go back and do it at home, you will not get the non verbal parts because I will not be there to communicate them to you.
He then agreed to go through the practice which I told him would take less than 5 minutes.
So we both focused on our breath, and I had told him to close his eyes so he could focus better. And on observing the breath, you will find it becomes slower and calmer..and then I added a simple zikr which translate as Lord, You are Peace. He did that also , and, then I added another simple prayer, Lord, expand my chest ..in Arabic that would be Rabbishruli Sadri...So we did this for 5 minutes...
Perhaps because I learn by doing , which means my mode of learning is kinesthetic,,,believe me most people learn best by doing...I had insisted on this way of teaching him....

We 'll see how it goes ...but from my experience it really helps the patients who practice it after learning it from me.....

Nexus Resort Karambunai Sabah

Nexus resort is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to : Here see for yourself.

Right and Wrong

You know, is sometimes very difficult to set rules of right and wrong because there are times when right in one situation is wrong in another. To be able to understand this is great wisdom indeed and to be a good jurist we have to have this ability to discern what is right for the situation in question. Scott Peck has written about this in his book The Road Less Travelled.
And here is another quote from HIK on the same:

"There is no action which the Sufi calls right or wrong, for every action can become right and can become wrong; it depends upon the use or abuse of the action, its fitness or unfitness. Right or wrong depends upon the attitude and situation, not the action. This naturally gives the Sufi tolerance towards another, and makes him ready to forgive another and unwilling to form an opinion about the action of another person. This attitude keeps the Sufi far removed from saying that peace is good or war is good. The Sufi will say, "War is good at the time of war, peace is good at the time of peace."HIK

Religious people dealing with sinners

drroza said...

The old adage, 'It takes a criminal to understand a criminal' may be true to a certain extend as they should know better how the brain mechanism works in those 'criminal' minds. But that does not mean that someone of religious background cannot be compassionate to them. Only the other day I comented on Crimsonskye's blog that I find a stark contrast between christian missionaries and muslim dhaie ( this is just a generalisation- may not be true always) whereby the christian missionaries are more approachable and less prejudiced. This goes to show that people with strong religious hold can and should be able to treat drug addicts/ criminals as well if not better. In fact as a muslim doctor, we are at an advantage as we have the Quran and sunnah to help us deal with the addicts.

1:27 PM

There is the story of the king who has 2 servants, one who makes a lot of mistakes but is always aware of them and always repentant and the other servant is perfect and is proud. Guess which one the King likes best?

You could say the proud servant is a zealot.
The difference is one of religiousness which focuses on the mercy and compassion aspects of God and the relgiousness which focuses on the punishment aspect of God. There are Quranic verses and Hadith which point out the the Mercy of God far exceeds his punishment but many are focussed on punishment rather than mercy.

It helps when we view sinners as people with potential for a lot of good. And we view their temporary state of being caught in self destructive behavior as a stage they are passing through and we can then see our role in giving them our helping hand.

Remember story about the murderer who went up to a Shaikh and asked if he could be saved even though he had killed 99 people? The Shaikh became the 100th person he killed when the Shaikh replied he was a goner. He went to another Shaikh who then told him to go to a town of very good people and live there to get salvation. He died on the way and the angels fought over him to bring him to heaven/hell and brought their case to God who told them to measure the distance he was from the city.He was more than halfway there..and the angel in charge of heaven won the dispute over his soul. ..I can t quite remember the origin of this story but I think it is a hadith and was told by the Prophet to bring home the message of God's mercy.

Also as regards Muslim Daie:
Muslims daie instead of focusing on Muslims, they have to realise their role as Khalifah of the Universe and also they have yet to realise that Muhammand is Rahmatan Lil Alamin, ie a Blessing for all Creation, not a blessing for all Muslims.( Mind you this is a very huge blanket statement that is sometimes not true so take it with a pinch of salt and don 't mind me)

Americans and Australians

This is not about race or country and I am just reporting what Dr Walter Ling told us.
The American Psychiatrist was talking to the Australian one and the Australian said to the American , " We have the same history, we are from an immigrant population"
The America replied " You are descended from a bunch of criminals."
And the Australian replied" And you are descended from a bunch of religious zealots..At least we understand sinners and have a compassionate approach to drug addicts."

Think about it...
How do you view addicts ..and other so called sinners....what is your approach?

Workshop over the weekend

I was in KL over the weekend, at the Legend to be exact.I actually do not like worshops very much but go anyway for the occasional gems I can get from the distinguished speakers.When the speakers are not very interesting my body has a way of switching off and I really do not hear anything , at least not with my conscious mind ;) .

Here are a few gems from Dr Walter Ling;
The adolescent mind is a mind under construction. It is best to keep this mind under construction in a safe environment for it to develope. In other words, let whatever needs to blow itself out or apart or whatever in an environment which is safe ..mind you I know what it does not mean is to restrict the adolescent..there is a fine line between letting loose and total control which parents and educators have to find. This workshop was one about drugs and adolescents are at that age when they want to live dangerously and the connection between the emotional center seeking rewards is not very well linked to the thinking part that understands long term consequences of actions and once exposed to these mind changing and brain changing drugs in the adolescent age, there is no reversing things!

Here is some more on the adolescent brain

Summary of New Research on Adolescent Brain Development

Recent developments in brain research provide scientific support to the theories on the limitations of youth's decision-making.

• Researchers at UCLA, Harvard Medical School and the National Institute of Mental Health have traced the development of a child's brain to adulthood.
  
  
• Through neuroimaging technology researchers have discovered that in a process called "myelination" a normal healthy adolescent brain develops during adolescence.
  
  
• The brain's maturation process continues through adolescence and is not complete until the early 20's.
  
  
• The area not yet fully refined and focused in the adolescent mind is called the prefrontal cortex.
  
  
• The prefrontal cortex is the largest section of the brain, slowest to develop, and undergoes the most drastic changes during adolescence.
  
  
• The prefrontal cortex is responsible for complex thinking. It allows the mind to organize, perform abstract thinking, prioritize, anticipate consequences, control impulses and conform behavior accordingly.
  
  
• To compensate for the underdevelopment of the prefrontal cortex, the adolescent brain relies heavily on another area of the brain called the amygdala, which creates a tendency to react on instincts.
  
  
• Biologically, adolescents do not have the same abilities as adults to control their actions and make sound decisions.

Merdeka

Yesterday was Merdeka again. Our country is now 48 years old .I was shouting Medeka along with thousands of others..even though I was at home in front of the TV at 12 midnight on the 30-31 August. It did not fail to arouse in me a certain sense of belonging, and also that choked up feeling of love for my country.

Yes indeed I love my country , I love the people , the land , the trees the flowers , the dirt the garbage, the silliness , the stupdity, and the love..the love.

What love you ask?What love can I feel except what wells up within the depth of my being .
How to describe the joy of being with another human being sharing their hopes and worries and fears.Indeed sometimes I m so wrapped up in wanting to do something else that I fail to listen to the person who sits in front of me telling me of their aches and pains and hopes and fears yet when I do , how richly am I rewarded by the love.

Like the Chinese woman who came this morning , she wanted me to see if she was really pregnant and was wondering if perhaps she was menopausal because her menses seemed to stop and start for the past months.

Something made me do a scan and what a surprise both for me and for her that she was already 5 months pregnant ..at 43 years old! She kept saying oh woe, how embarassing for me, what a disaster and I kept saying, this is good luck, this child will bring you luck , will be your joy and your comfort when you are old.
She phoned me again this afternoon wanting to confirm her delivery date, confiding in me that her husband also laughed at her for not realising she was pregnant even though she had been pregnent 4 times previously! I laughed with her and we discussed where she was going to have this baby and I again reassured her that it was ok.
I pray it will be ok..I did not need for her to worry about trisomy and such stuff we think is more likely in pregancies of women above 40..my friend the gyneacologist said the risk is not that very high and an older woman is likely to be a much more loving and wiser mum that a younger mum. I wholeheartedly agree..

Illusion and reality

Illusion is the cover of things; reality is the depth of things. The body is the illusion; the soul is the reality. The flower is the illusion; the fragrance is the reality. The fragrance is the spirit of the flower; it persists.
Hazrat Inayat Khan

Ways to Distinguish Intuition from Lower Levels of Information

This piece I got in the mail, it answers the post before it about impulses from God

Ways to Distinguish Intuition from Lower Levels of Information

"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are." -- e. e. cummings
The more aware we become, the more intuition develops for us. The more we can access
our intuition, the faster we grow and change. The key is to understand the language of
intuition. How can you tell if the 'inner voice' is God's,other beings, other people's
projections or your own judgmental thoughts? The tips below will help you discriminate
and discern the TRUTH.Read the list over often and get a strong sense of how to discern higher guidance. Expand your inventory of how you sense the higher or lower information that comes into your physical and non-physical senses.


• LOWER LEVELS OF INFORMATION ----- HIGHER LEVELS OF INTUITION
• demand obedience or surrender ----- suggest, advise -you make your own
decisions
• conflict with one's personal ethics ----- no conflict with personal ethics
• create fear, negativity ----- create love, inspiration, empowerment
• are generalities, long winded ----- are relevant, short,intelligent, unique
• are conditional ----- are unconditional, appropriate and natural to you
• appeal to curiosity, ego ----- appeal to goodwill, beauty, unity
• from confusing, competing voices ----- from still, single knowing voice
• affirm ultimate authority for itself ----- counsel surrender to higher power
• require no personal effort ----- need personal effort
• guidance from subconscious ----- guidance from the Soul
• emotional desires, glamour ----- higher spiritual guidance
• benefit the receiver ----- benefit the good of the whole
• fixed interpretations ----- many levels of interpretation
• create dependencies ----- create interdependence
• promote separation ----- reflect oneness, wholeness, unity
• are self conscious ----- are other conscious
• affirm mediocrity ----- promote making a difference
• reflect a part of the whole ----- reflect the whole
• are emotional, mental ----- are intuitive
• focus on things ----- focus on essence and values
• result in loss of self ----- result in self discovery
• focus on desires, wants ----- focus on soul needs
• address individual ----- address community
• deal with form ----- deal with symbols, truths
• concerned with self will ----- reflect divine will
• create victims ----- require accountability
• are sporadic ----- are disciplined
• create stress ----- create peace of mind
• are personal ----- are impersonal
• are restrictive ----- are expansive
• are particular ----- are universal
• are controlling ----- are allowing
• focus on self ----- focus on others or Soul
• focus on destination ----- focus on process
• are exclusive ----- are inclusive
• are judging ----- are accepting
• are scattered ----- are focused
• are limited ----- are unlimited
• focus on material ----- focus on spiritual
• are reactive ----- are proactive
• are concrete ----- are abstract
• focus on past, future ----- focus on now
• deal with personality ----- concern Soul
• produce inertia ----- generate growth
• stuff in ----- draw out
• focus on quantity ----- focus on quality
• are selfish ----- are altruistic
• are superficial ----- are deep
• create resistance ----- create flow
• focus on lack ----- focus on abundance
• are static ----- are dynamic
• focus on me ----- focus on humanity
• create illusion ----- reveal truth
• focus on work ----- focus on service
• focus on mine ----- focus on God's
• use force ----- use power
• focus on effect ----- focus on cause
• take ----- give
• produce fear ----- experience love
• emphasize doing ----- emphasize being
"Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors
before."
-- Joseph Campbell

Impulses from God

A comment from segovius
Is it not a problem that every impulse is from God?

I have many impulses that it would quite surprise me if that were the case. It's a conundrum that is not so easily solved it seems to me

.My reply is that we would have to distinguish impulses from our reactive survival self and the impulses coming from the heart.

The survival self thinks in a heauristic fashion and thinks that it is rational but it usually not the case because this thinking is pretty much reactive and takes some shortcuts .



The languange of the heart or as the sufis say Kalam Al Batin is a much more subtle thinking that fuffills a higher purpose . It takes practice to distinguish between the two and it also takes practice to actually hear the voice calling from within.

A prayer of Hazrat Inayat Khan is:

Open my heart that I may hear thy voice calling to me from within.

Unless this channel is opened we hear but our hearing is distorted hence the distortion is then manifest in our distorted wants and needs .

A Longing for the Beloved for example may manifest as a seeking for the one true love, and this may come out as changing partners ever so often because the love one has found does not fit the ideal in one's mind...and this behaviour may one day cease when one realizes the Beloved is non other than God...then one is able to love the human beloved who is less than perfect.

Helwa and Naruto

These are 2 Shirazi kittens.
I ll post a picture of them when I can
Naruto disappeared yesterday evening. He wandered out of the house and when we noticed him missing , went to look for him, not a meow did we hear.
So we spent the night in prayer, Acik, Maryam Dayat and me.
My zikr was Lailahaillah Haq..and the prayer was that Naruto be safe and be returned ...
Next morning as I was doing my ablutions I heard a meow from the bathroom window. I heard it once and did not believe my ears and then I heard it again.
I rushed out , and Abang came in at the gate and said, there is Naruto in the scrubland beside the house..and he went to get Naruto.
Naruto is not himself today , he did not want to eat, his heart was pounding ..he seemed a bit dazed...
What happened to him?
We can only guess...

Seeking God

There are three ways of seeking God in the human heart. The first way is to care for every person with whom we come in contact, in our thought, speech, and action. Human personality is very delicate. The more living the heart the more sensitive it is; that which causes sensitivity is the love element in the heart, and love is God. The person whose heart is not sensitive is without feeling; his heart is not living, but dead. In that case the divine spirit is buried in his heart.

The next way of practicing this religion is to think of the feeling of the person who is not at the moment before us. One feels for a person who is present, but one often neglects to feel for someone who is out of sight. One speaks well of someone to his face, but if one speaks well of someone when he is absent, that is greater. One sympathizes with the trouble of someone who is before one at the moment, but it is greater to sympathize with one who is far away.

The third way of realizing the Sufi principle is to realize every impulse that rises in one's heart as a direction from God. Realizing that love is a divine spark in one's heart, one blows that spark until a flame may rise to illuminate the path of one's life.

Hazrat Inayat Khan

Life Purpose?

Everything starts with yourself -- with you making up your mind
 about what you're going to do with your life." -- Tony Dorsett

Prayers

Allah al Makhluk fi'l itikadat

Through your prayers,
God creates Himself through you.
hadith

Friend of God

The sign of the friend of God is that he has three qualities: a generosity like that of the ocean, a compassion like that of the sun, and a humility like that of the earth.

-Bayazid in 'Attar, "Tadhkirat"

Spiritual Progress

Written in answer to a question on a mailing list

You asked about progress spiritually. This is very difficult for me to see in you over the internet . The simple practices outlined under meditation and chakra cleansing caste the Divine light over our inner being and makes clear to us our faults. If we can see them and acknowledge their presence, then the will to change for the better will come to us.
What helps in this is self discipline , not over indulging in the various activities of sleeping, sex and food and working to keep to a minumum time wasters that distract us from doing gainful work .
If we begin to notice particular areas of weaknesses for eg we notice we are selfish or quick to anger or we notice a tendency to boast etc, then these are the areas we need to work on in ourselves.
We also need to notice our compassion towards others and our sense of beauty , are these well developed or under developed , these are indiicators of our stage in developement spiritually.

Being able to feel our energy centers and being clairvoyant or having clairuadience or even being able to see illnesses in people , understanding where these are coming from, none of these actually means we are spiritually mature or advanced. But it does mean that when we have these abilities we should work harder to discipline ourselves and our indulgences because we are more able to destroy ourselves when we lack the discipline. For example , rising Kundalini energy without an ability to channel it to be creative results in uncontrolled and uncontrollable sexual urges. What this means is that the spiritual development instead of bringing one closer to God and enlightenment can become instead a means to self destruct.This is particularly true when we feel proud of being able to feel energy and experience mystic visions when we meditate. Please note this does not mean anything in terms of our level of spiritual development. The acid test is our level of peacefullness and our degree of service to humanity and the universe.

Very few people actually have an ability to guide their own selves, more often than not we need a teacher to see where our weakenesses are and to give us practices that can help us overcome the weaknesses. Having said that, a person who is willing to examine their lives and and learn from it , then that is the best teacher there is.
I have often felt that I am at school in the school of life and that each lesson is tailor made for me to help me to progress to learn my lessons and move on.

Do not be surprised when lessons seem to get repeated or our stages seem to come a full circle and we find ourselves back where we started. It happens in circles yes, but view it instead as ascending spirals , getting wider and higher although the possibility of being static is always there, we have a choice really.

Having said all this, do not despair of your spiritual developement , knowing that there are so many things that get in the way and may hinder and hamper you because true sincerity and a true longing to understand that which is Real will get you there somehow for the most important ingredient in our journey is not our efforts but God's grace and the most important quality you need to get this is hope, expectation and prayer.

Types of belief or rather stages in believing

This is very sufi stuff , this is by Hazrat Inayat Khan My comments will be the ones in colored text

The first belief is the mass-belief. If someone says, ‘There is a God,’ then everyone repeats after him, 'Yes, there is a God.'
One might think that today, at this stage of civilization, people are too advanced to have mass-beliefs, but that would be a great mistake. People are the same today as they were a thousand years ago, perhaps worse if it comes to spiritual questions. Someone who is called 'the man of the day' in a nation, is for the time being supported by the whole nation.
Thousands and millions lift him up, hold him high. But for how long? Until some still more powerful person says, 'No, it is not so.' Then the whole country lets him down.

I find that this mass belief is reinforced by the media. When I was in the US a few years ago , my sufi friends were discussing about how sad they were that Israel was again under attack by the wicked Palestinian terrorists. I could only open my mouth wide in amazement that they thought that was how things were!!!..now that is mass belief..we believe what we see and hear but it may not be the truth.
Just before the war I was visiting Russia. In every shop one saw a picture of the Czar and Czarina, held in high esteem. It was a sacred thing for people. There was a religious ideal attached to the emperor, as he was the Head of the Church. And they used to be filled with joy when they saw the Czar and Czarina passing in the street. It was a religious upliftment for
them. But not long afterwards they themselves had processions in the streets when at each step they broke the czarist emblems. It did not take them one moment to change their belief. Why? Because it was a mass-belief.

Yep ,. it takes but a very short while to make people change their minds when it is a mass belief.

It is a very powerful belief. It changes nations. It throws them down and raises them up. It brings war. But what is it after all? A mad belief. And yet no one will admit it. If you ask an individual, he says, ‘I am not one of them.’ Yet at the same time all move together when an impulse comes for good or bad.

Scot Peck talks about this in his book The people of the Lie.Whole villages can move to kill and hate when there is a mass sense of something or the other. Everybody is swept by the energy of the emotion that engulfs everyone. Takes a lot of spiritual strength to move against this energy.

Then there is a second step towards belief and that is belief in an authority, as with people at the time of a dictatorship.They believe in a leader. They say, ‘I will not believe in the ordinary man, in my neighbor, in my colleague. I believe in that man whom I trust.’ This belief is one step higher, because it is a belief in somebody in whom one has trust. When a person says, ‘I am a Christian,’ it means a belief in Jesus Christ and his teaching. It is a belief in someone, not in an abstraction.
Yes people have to believe in something, when they do not believe in something they get sick emotionally
One might think that people do not believe in authority today, but this is not so. For instance everyone accepts a discovery made by a scientist before having made investigations about it. Investigations come afterwards. When somebody comes forward and says he has discovered something, everyone accepts it. Perhaps another scientist will produce something else
one may believe, but the one who says a thing with authority is believed by the multitude.
Oh yes yes yes! Even when the belief is not true, like believing the world is flat. Who was it who got jailed for saying the earth is round?
Then there is a third stage of belief a further stage, and this belief makes man still greater. It is the belief of reason, and it means that one does not believe in any authority, nor in what everybody else believes, but that one has reasoned it out.
That one sees reason in it. This belief is stronger still; for of the beliefs I have explained before one cannot give proof, but in this case one can stand up and say, ‘Yes, I have reasoned it out.’
This, however, also has its limitation. Since reason is the slave of the mind, reason is as changeable as the weather. Reason obeys our impressions. If we have an impulse to insult a person, or to fight with him, we can produce many reasons for it. It may be that afterwards there will be contrary reasons. But at the time, while we have this impulse, right or wrong, there is always a reason which supports it. Have the criminals put in jail committed crimes without a reason? No, they have a reason too. It does not fit in with the law perhaps, it does not satisfy society, but if we ask them, they have a reason. The reason we have today we may perhaps change next week, but nevertheless this third belief makes us stand on our own
feet, for that moment if not always. And it gives us a greater power to defend our belief
I have nothing to add to this I should think. The mind has its limitations .Muslims are taught to believe in the unseen.Iman bil ghaib, things that the mind cannot understand or reason out. A lot of the spiritual stuff falls under this category. It was a huge test of faith when the prophet told of his night journey Israq Mi'raj.Ok so I know Muslims take it for granted now like they do what is in the Quran, it is a matter of faith but supposing , just supposing you lived in the times of the Prophet Muhammad and he had just told about the night journey , how many would accept it because reason says it cannot have happened?

And then again there is a fourth belief. That belief is a belief of conviction, which stands above reason. There is a sense of conviction in man, which is not discovered for some time in life. But there comes a time when it is discovered. And that is a blessed day. Then there arises an idea, an idea which no reason can break, a feeling which is not a passing feeling but is a
conviction. However high the idea may be, one seems to be an eyewitness of that idea. One is as strong, as confident, as a person who has seen with his own eyes. One can be convinced of ideas so subtle that they cannot even be expressed in words, and one is more convinced of them than if one had seen them with one's own eyes. It is this belief which is called by the Sufis and Persian mystics Iman, which means conviction.

There is the eye of conviction that just knows...Aynul yaqin....I think this one comes only by prayers meditation and our spiritual practices or simply by God's grace.

Another view of resist not evil

Click on the title to get to the PDF book by this author.
by Florence Scovel Shinn (1871-1940)

I wrote something on this previously:

Prophet Issa Resist Not Evil




The Law of Nonresistance
"Resist not evil. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."
Nothing on earth can resist an absolutely nonresistant person.
The Chinese say that water is the most powerful element, because it is perfectly nonresis-tant. It can wear away a rock, and sweep all before it.
Jesus Christ said: "Resist not evil," for He knew in reality, there is no evil, therefore nothing to resist. Evil has come of man's "vain imagination," or a belief in two powers, good and evil.
There is an old legend, that Adam and Eve ate of "Maya the Tree of Illusion," and saw two powers instead of one power, God.
Therefore, evil is a false law man has made for himself, through psychoma or soul sleep.
Soul sleep means, that man's soul has been hypnotized by the race belief (of sin, sickness and death, etc.) which is carnal or mortal thought, and his affairs have out-pictured his illusions.
We have read in a preceding chapter, that man's soul is his subconscious mind, and whatever he feels deeply, good or bad, is out-pictured by that faithful servant. His body and affairs show forth what he has been picturing. The sick man has pictured sickness, the poor man, poverty, the rich man, wealth.
People often say, "why does a little child attract illness, when it is too young even to know what it means?"
I answer that children are sensitive and receptive to the thoughts of others about them, and often out-picture the fears of their parents.
I heard a metaphysician once say, "If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you."
Mothers often, unconsciously, attract illness and disaster to their children, by continually holding them in thoughts of fear, and watching for symptoms.
For example: A friend asked a woman if her little girl had had the measles. She replied promptly, "not yet!" This implied that she was expecting the illness, and, therefore, preparing the way for what she did not want for herself and child.
However, the man who is centered and established in right thinking, the man who sends
out only goodwill to his fellow man, and who is without fear, cannot be touched or influenced by the negative thoughts of others. In fact, he could then receive only good thoughts, as he himself, sends forth only good thoughts.

JOM LEPAK

Jom Lepak is in Malay. It means Let's Hang out!

There is a popular TV figure here , Wardina and among the ladies here one is in charge of a home for troubled teenage girls..their parents give up on them.The name of the home is Raudhatus Sakinah.

My NGO started this in Shopping Malls , the place where the young people get together and just hang out. And that is what lepak means, to just hang around doing nothing.And there is another term: cyberlepak. This is for those who hang out at cybercafes or even at home and surf the net, chatting, looking at this site and that site, you know the things the young people do not all of it bad though and I've found out, the not so young do it too!

So we took the word lepak and gave it a new meaning. Let's Enhance Positive Attitudes & Knowledge.The 2 days Carnival has been held in major shopping malls throughout the country.

The aim is to provide a healthy alternative for teens.

We' re very concerned with the deterioration in morals in society . Call it old fashioned, call it what you will , but along with deteriorating morals we have also a deterioration in compassion and a sense of justice and all the positive traits a human can have.


More pics



A group of teens singing a nasyid.



This pic shows the audience which included some tourists..did they understand the language?

Drugs and HIV

Of course I have an interest in politics. But, I have too much else to deal with to talk about it here. The politics I support are politics of justice and truth , one that fights corruption and unfairness .

So you want to know what I feel about this needle distribution program to stem the tide of HIV amongst drug users. The Prime Minister says the needles distribution program will start in October unless someone comes up with another more feasable bright idea since the HIV problem is going towards serious .....

I think, what is needed is to educate IVDU s about the dangers of sharing needles and to persuade them to go for testing if they have been exposed and I aslo feel their spouses should be checked if their husbands are positive and yes , by all means give them condoms so that they don 't infect their wives.

Will distributing needles encourage more drug addicts? Not if there is, at the same time a huge education campaign and also a clean up of all their haunts as well as giving alternative solutions to the drug lifestyle for vulnerable groups.

Deal with the root cause , yes, have we found it yet?

Sharing about my dreams



I have no qualms about sharing things about my dreams and now I feel relieved that there is actually a hadith that says you can share the nice dreams you had with friends and do not tell about your bad dreams because you do not want them to happen and you want to seek protection from them happening..

I don't think my dreams are ever really bad though and even the bad ones have some redeeming features..the the one in which I dreamt I fell on a whole lot of shit and some of the shit was rising like a wave to engulf me and I roared at it and it fell back ...

Memes

Click on this link here and find out about Memes!

Level 3 of Consciousness

You are reading about something that most people don’t even know exists. If you told them, they wouldn’t just not believe you—they would have no clue what you were talking about. That’s why I wrote this little essay: so that I could show it to someone when they had no idea what I was talking about and, if they were persistent and open-minded, make some progress in their thinking. And meanwhile I could get on with my other projects.

So ok I just got to know about it....which is why I am sharing it with you

A Little bit of Rumi

My friend Nani

This is my friend Nani snorkelling.
She even took a picture of a fish while snorkelling.


So now you know sedate Muslim ladies complete with headcover go snorkelling anyway

The Traceless Warrior

This is the name of Mushtaq's blog. I like the name and I like the concept of being so skilled at averting social problems etc that you 're not even mentioned because you' done it so subtly that it is not perceived. Like Khidr!

Some of my writings

Check out some of my writings at this url http://nursyifa.info or you can click on the above link.

I 'd appreciate any comments on them. I was thinking of writing a book about healing and this indeed is what I think life is all about, healing.
I know that it is the way I choose to view life, as a healing.
Indeed the Quran says that the behavioral problems we have, insincerity, hyprocrisy etc are maridh which means disease.

Another fantastic dream

I think my dreams are a form of escape and do not really have any esoteric meaning . It expresses my desire for something and is probably not a representative of something happening in the spiritual realm . I also have been cautioned not to reveal my dreams except to my guide but I think some dreams do not mean enough to keep to myself and are too interesting not to record. If they have any significance , at least I have a record of them.

This dream I had when I went back to sleep. Off late I have been indulging in sleep! I think it is because of the severe strain I was under when my husband was very ill and I had to nurse him to the point that my whole time was taken up with being Nanny to my helpless husband. It was quite an experience and indeed I could see where my nannyship was not up to scratch.

So here is the dream. It started out with apartments. We went to one , it was kind of colorful and I found that my mum was in a unit. I had asked whose apartment it was and she said my stepfather's and he had insisted she stay there but he was away and she did not want to stay there alone. Something about a ghost I think, being in that apartment ..I notice I've been preoccupied with ghosts lately!

Anyway when going down the lift, the lift door opened to reveal a wall and I was alone in the lift for some unknown reason but when I pressed the button again the outer door opened and I was out. I kind of was a bit upset, funny the upset though, I acted upset but knew I did not feel upset.

Next scene we were visiting some land , it was kind of hilly. I think we wanted to see it for somebody who wanted to buy it. I was holding a baby. It was not my baby but we had adopted the baby and I was trying my best to be a good mum so I was holding the baby and talking to the baby, can t even remember if it was a girl or a boy,most likely a girl. Anyway , as I walked, I made leaps into the air, because walking was too tedious , and I knew I could kind of float in the air ..at least in the dream...Some members of my family were a bit upset seeing me bouncing in the air but my son said , don t worry Mum can do that quite well. As soon as we got to the top of the hill, kind of like a plateau, I could not control my movement anymore and foiund myself being raised in the air higher and higher and the baby was quite upset but I hung on tight to the baby making sure I did not drop it and found myself making a prayer, God, what are you doing , why are you taking me so high. I remember seeing some beautiful blue patterns and then it was fuzzy and the next thing I remember was that I was lying down kind of like falling asleep
( imagine sleeping in my sleep) then I woke up to find myself in a small depression in the sandy ground of some beach, it was kind of cosy really. I still had the baby with me. Before I could walk any further, just as I was getting up from the depression, two women approached me and said, "Oh there you are!We were told you would be here and we came to pick you up."
I was wondering at this point who had told them and I asked them where I was and they said I was in a beach in Penang, and that was like 200 miles from where I was previously when I started floating in the air. I was thinking of contacting my husband to tell him I was ok and at that point I woke up..feeling rather good really...

Sitcoms can be pretty good teachers

This is a picture of one of the first sitcoms I ever watched, the Beverly Hillbillies.

Yes I know sitcoms are time wasters but wait a minute. Sometimes I find they can be pretty good at showing us our behaviour. For example today I saw Yes Dear. I have not seen this very much and do not know the names of the characters except that there are two couples living in one house and they always do things together even if they did not quite see eye to eye on many issues.
So they went for a holiday and each couple paid for a cabin..all would have been great except that even though they paid the same, one room had a jacuzzi attached and was bigger than the other!Ok let us give them names...... sigh!!, I wish I was more observant when it comes to names, so let us call the couple with the smaller room John and Mary. And the one with the bigger room Dave and Susan. John is upset because of the smaller room and Mary says to let it go and was sure Dave did not intentionally give them the smaller room. John is not so sure because he believes Dave thinks he is superior to John and would take the bigger room . John would not tak e it, since he wanted for once to feel equal , since he always felt inferior since both couples stayed at Dave's house and Dave earned more. Mary says not to spoil their holiday by this petty stuff and John still would not have it. So he confronted Dave who admitted he took the bigger room intentionally and then John asked that they flip coins for the bigger room and so John won the bigger room and they switched rooms. I do not know if it made John any happier, it might have but I think Mary was right that such bickering may have spoilt something that they may have enjoyed better.

Then there was the dinner at a posh restaurant that Dave and Susan were going to and John and Mary had decided not to go since it cost too much and they chose instead to go to a much cheaper place. Dave had been talking about the restaurant for years because his uncle had gone there and was talking about it for years, about the windowwith the wonderful view and the caviar and the cheese bar. Dave did not have his jacket but the posh place had a ruling that the diners had to wear jackets so they gave him one of theirs, and it smelled real bad ! If that was not bad enough, the free mints tasted bad and Dave spat it out,Then when he wanted his steak Medium rare, the waiter said it would spoil the taste and insisted he took it rare. Then when he called for the cheese bar, it had cheeses with fancy names and he chose one the waiter said he was not ready for and he ended up spitting it out just like he did the mint,. He had wanted a table with the view but it was reserved for those who stayed at the ajoinung motel. Then to make things worse, he ate the caviar and started coughing and his hands started turnung red and puffy , it seems he was allergic to the caviar. His wife who had an epipen handy had to give him a jab and he ended up on the floor with his pants down!

The next scene was at the restaurant where John and Mary went and Dave found that it was more to his taste , the cheese was a common one but more palatable. And he could have his burger cooked to his liking and John said to Dave, he was not really cut out for the kind of sophistication at the posh restaurant. What was more, Dave found out that the magnificient view from the window of the posh restaurant was the same as that from the cheaper one and John responded by saying that some good things in life did not cost money.

The moral of this is that sometimes we want things we do not really need and do not really enjoy and that is beyond our budget. Ever felt miserable trying to be sophiisticated or elegant?I have...I ve worn heels that hurt my legs and feet for weeks after and also worn skirts and pants that were not made to be worn in prayers . They inconvenienced me even though I still prayed in them.Now I go for comfortable shoes, skirts and pants , forget about elegance!

And about holidays..I don't know..perhaps the best holiday can be spent at home.I do know I never fully enjoy my home , it is certainly better than any hotel I could go to , so taking a few days off to enjoy my home could be the most relaxing thing to do!

Seek Union over separation

Seek union over separation

“Beliefs separate. Loving thoughts unite.”

-- Paul Ferrini

Our ego focuses on how we are different from the rest of the world. We connect with soul when we experience how we are the same.

Any time you separate yourself from other people or from situations, you know your personality is in control. At such times, shift your perspective to build connection and you will move into soul.

“As a holistic being you shatter the illusion of your separateness and reveal your connection to everything. This empowers you in a way that the ego-driven self could never contemplate.”

-- Wayne Dyer

A Wise woman's stone

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found
a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met
another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman
opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler
saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it
to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler
left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone
was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.
But a few days later he came back to return the stone
to the wise woman.

"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable
the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you
can give me something even more precious.

Give me what you have within you that enabled you to
give me the stone."

Lailahailallah
Toil and toil . This morning I was really busy with cases. Now I am still busy with cases. I need to stop for a bit for prayers. Some wonder where I find the time to load stuff and write . In between my patients. I ' ll write about some of my patients in the future. I want to write about the drug addict patients I have. They are an interesting group of people and I have to learn how to deal with them.
This poster here? Was trying to find some interesting picture and I thought , this picture is interesting ! You can print it into a poster. You do not like the color scheme..it's not mine obviously

Home, a wee pool in my garden

As you can , I am trying to upload photos to my blog but cannot figure out how to put the photos in the right post. This is is a picture of the small pool in my garden. It does not look like this now, since the plants have changed but the pool is still there with some baby koi

Home!

Standing Ovation
Standing Ovation! That was the name of the double hibiscus that I first met in a dream! I searched the internet for a hibiscus that resembled the one I now have in my garden and found one with this name!This hibiscus was what I wrote about when I applied to undergo this course in ecopsychology.

I wrote:

It seems to me that my finding this course on the internet when I was searching for ways to deepen my understanding of human nature was a step in a series of steps that I had taken and continue to take in my life's unfoldment. Connecting with nature by observing and reflecting on what attracts one , as described in a description of the activities in the orientation course is something that I have recently found myself doing already. It seems natural to continue in a more guided fashion. I had a dream a couple of months ago of a beautful pinkish hued flower that had very many petals and I had gone searching for this flower. I instinctively knew it to be a hibiscus and I finally found one of the same colour. The flower was not opened, I only saw buds but I bought the plant and planted it in my garden by my front gate. I glanced at it each day and only saw buds and sometimes I would see the wilted flower and it seemed to me I kept missing the flower in full bloom due to my busy rushing back and forth to work and back .Then one day I saw the flower in full bloom. It was a double hibiscus , only it is not two flowers but 5 flowers with 5 stamens and each stamen was surrounded by a whirl of petals. I realised at once it was the flower of my dream. The flower gave me joy and beauty and , I also discovered in the following days a sense of balance that had eluded me before What else could deepen my experience and my realisations?I was searching for something on the net and then I found the ecopsychology website. I read in the ecopsychology website:"Nature connected learning in support of the United Nations manifesto for environmentally sound personal growth and social justice: the practical application of biophilia and ecology of mind. "

It was for me a course that was also in line with my Islamic teachings.

"Verily in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the night and day are signs for the people who are Al Bab, ie those who think!!" ( This is at the end of Surah Annissa)

Looking at nature is a form of remembering Allah , a zikrullah!

When doing assignment 7 I had to fill in the blanks after finding something I was attracted to in nature.

I love this............................because.................................................................................

And I wrote: I love this peach coloured double hibiscus with its 5 flowerets because it is beautiful and it's 5 flowerets are so balanced and equal showing it to be whole abd balanced in all aspects .

The 5 aspects o life that I see are spiritual, intellectual, emotional, physical and social which encompasses relationships! For this reason I was so much attracted to this flower with its 5 flowerets! What was more amazing for me was that last Sunday I went to Dr Harlina's house for the first time and there to greet me in her garden was this lovely double hibiscus again, only this one was the deepest red while mine was a delicate pinkish peach! I again counted the flowerets 1,2,3, 4, 5! Beautiful, so perfect, so balanced!

So now I did the next part of the exercise, part 2;

And the instructions were:

Instructions:

Place the phrase "I like (or love) myself because" in front of (2), the "because " clause of the sentence that you just wrote in SECTION 1.

I like (or love) myself (myself is substituted for the part 1 attraction) because (2)___________________________Now read the sentence including the new prefix: "I like (or love) myself because"____________(2) aloud. Read it to others, if possible.

And this is how it read:

I love myself because I am beautiful, the 5 aspects of my being are so balanced and equal showing me to be whole and balanced in all !

Goodness me! Now how could that be? I am balanced ? Am I really? Yet I had to read this to myself. As I read this, I reflected more and more the reason why I loved that flower and went searching for it after seeing it unfold in my dreams, even before I knew how perfectly beautiful and balanced this hibsicus is! What began to dawn on me was that what I saw in the hibsicus is a potential within myself, to develope myself and flower fully as perfctly as this hibsicus!

Next I had to do 12 interact catalysts and I will not relate the details here except to jump to the significant incidences that happened to me and that dawned on me later in the day and the next day. What amazed me was that I started on the assignment before travelling to KL for my meeting, getting a lift from my dear husband, boarding a bus, jumping on STAR, switching to PUTRA and meeting Kak Endok who then took me to Dr Harlina's only to be greeted by another perfect double hibiscus with its 5 flowerets!

So here are some of the 12 interact catalysts that may be relevent:
.

2) the three most important things you learned from the chapter and webstring connections are:

I learnt that we reflect what we see. We mirror that which is in nature, when we lose our webstring connections with nature it is like losing a sense organ.

4) whether or not the activity enhanced your sense of self-worth and your trustfulness of nature;

Yes it most certainly enhanced my self worth by recognising in me the balance and beauty that is in the hibisucs.

5) the part of you, if any, the activity identified or re-educated inside or outside of you;

This activity re educated the part in me that knows that what I recognise in others is what is within myself.

9) Write one or more complete, single, short, power sentence "quotes" that convey a significant contribution that this assignment makes to improving our relationships.

I feel more sensitive to others today since doing this assignment because when I see others as mirrors and reflections of my own self., knowing how like a delicate flower , I thrive on love and care and shrink with harshness, I have treated others like I would treat the delicate flower that I am.

11) Conclude by identifying what things you have put into the trustable, uncontaminated, thought and feeling room/space you built into your psyche during Part/Chapter One. The use of these eleven Interact Catalysts will enhance your learning experience and that of the others in the course as well.

I have put into the trustable uncontaminated thought and feeling room/space that I have built into my psyche a conscioussness that is beyond my small self.


I am sharing this realization with you, my beloved larger family, may our gentle and loving ways out number our moments of thoughtless harshness..
Saadi said, it is easier to be a thorn , wounding others while not feeling hurt, but be a rose anyway or in this case,
Be a hibiscus.....

My dear Peachy Pink hibsicus, I give thee a Standing Ovation!!!

wierd dreams

I got my car back all nicely repainted ! That was a fast job thank God!
I am still feeling unenthusiastic about many things, I can just about do what I need to do in terms of work, ie I can see patients and do it as well as I can. but other than writing a bit of nonsense like this, I am not in a mood to do much!

Then there is this heat in my chest, I felt so hot last night had to don the lightest of clothes and I still could not quite sleep, not until Abang came to bed and I kind of discharged my hot hands by placing them on his head. He said I slept in 5 minutes.

Then I could not wake up in the morning! Boy , it was difficult to wake up and when I finally did I remember this dream.
I was going to a mosque and it was a very old mosque, something like hundreds of years old, with the floor and walls made of stone. So I prayed in the mosque , Abang was with me. Then as I was going to another part of the mosque to pray some more, I found myself in a red car with a small boy riding at the back, I was in front in the passenger seat. Then the boy told me, Auntie there is no one at the wheel and I looked and realised that was indeed true! The car was travelling very fast and I was a wee bit worried! Amazingly the car did not hit anything eventhough it was like being on a roller coaster and the car finally came to a stop and I found myself back at the mosque and Abang was asking me if I had done the extra prayers and I told him about the strange ride. Don t know what happened to the boy, don t know who he was but I think the dream was influenced by my watching The Temple of Doom , adventures of Indiana Jones the night before!

I went back to sleep after prayers only to have another dream. This time a young man came into the room to tell me I had a spirit residing in me and at first I denied it but then I admitted to it because I realised I had been rather depressed lately as well as unenthusiastic over many things and I thought maybe this is the reaon. So he started to heal me and then somebody I knew came along , a friend from my past and he also joined in to heal me. I was actually quite happy to be healed in my dream except Abang phoned my handphone from downstairs to ask me if I had woken up yet because it was 9 am and I was supposed to go to work! oops....

Accidents

Hehehe so I m writing about motor vehicle accidents but what I really mean is the small bumps and bangs we motorists get ourselves into from time to time.
I' ve been on both sides, ie I've been the victim and the perpetrator!
So today I was the victim! I parked in a parking space by the roadside and this afternoon, a lorry banged into the side of my parked car ! I was just in time to witness the accident and ran after the driver.Two motorcyclists also gave chase but actually the driver was stopping anyway because he was in town to deliver some goods to a shop near my Clinic.
I said, " You banged into my car". And he replied oh really , I did not notice, and so I took him to my car and indeed the yellow paint of his lorry was on the side of my car along with a dent in the right back door!He apologized and said he had no money to pay for the repair, and I was not about to let him off that easily. I grabbed his arm, oh dear, me , old lady me being tough ..but he was a nice fellow really so he just followed along..and we went into the clinic..it was hot out in the sun even at 4.30 pm! I finally got his employer's phone number from him and soon after his employer came . I saw him look at my car with another man, and then he asked the man in the coffee shop nearby what happened and I saw the man pointing and gesticulating to relate to him what had happened. Then , he crossed the road and came in the clinic.

I saw him in my room. What a nice man! He said he was so sorry and so embarassed at the incident and then introduced his friend who was a car job man. He told me of all the shops he owned, hmm yes I can imagine he is quite loaded, he drove a Prado by the way. So it was agreed that he would have my car repaired, the car job man would come and take the car tomorrow morning have it done and sent back and the taukeh would pay for it.

Wow! all settled and I did not have to rave and rant even, not that I was going to anyway.

I could see myself observing myself even when I was trying to be intimidating towards the lorry driver to tell him he had to be held accountable for the accident.

At this time I was thinking of the times when I was the perpetrator. The last time my husband was reversing and along came this car , straight into my bumper, the man was mad over it...but my husband just said , come see me at my office, I am Director of the >>>>. He did not turn up, I wonder if he thought my husband was unwilling to pay? Well it was his fault really because he came out of nowhere straight into the tail end of my car!

Then there was the time when I brushed against the side of a parked car while getting out of the parking bay. I told the owner I would pay but he never showed up to claim the bill for repairing the damage..

And what about the time I reversed into a car and drove off because I did not know what else to do! So ok luckily my husband who was around settled that one..

And then there was that pakcik whose bumper I banged into at a junction because the sun was in my eye. I was very nice to him, took him to the clinic to get my money and paid him more than he asked for. I think I was trying to compensate for another time when I refused to pay what the fellow wanted and insisted on paying less...

We live and we learn. Even when I was acting fierce just now I was actually willing to write it off.
I learned something about manner and honor from the taukey , now that is the way to do it really, gracious and kind and pleasant..

Home at last

Hubby is home again and will be for the next one month at least. He is still very weak from the ordeal he went through and his eyes are still seeing only night ! He slept without the Ativan thank god! Now that all the vein ports have been removed , he is much more comfortable and being at home after six weeks must have been a great relief for him.

I found myself tired ! I have been having enough sleep so why the tiredness? I guess sleeping in hospitals and then coming to work in the morning is tiring.
Visitors are also tiring, taking care of an invalid is tiring .
So I hope things will be better now that he is home .
I 've got to cook when I go home from work today because his appettite is poor and having lost 15 kilograms , he does need to regain some of his muscles back.

Land below the Wind...

I just got back from Kota Kinabalu in Sabah, the Land Below the Winds. I had been there for more than 3 weeks . I had to go there , a 2 and a 1/2 hour flight by air from Kuala Lumpur airport on the 1st of May because my husband developed some severe infection and fell ill while at a meeting there. His symptoms were fever with rigours and a falling platelet count. Initially diagnosed as Dengue, all tests were negative and one day before he collapsed , his blood film was postive for a mixed Malaria infection. Later it was discovered one of the types was Plasmodium Knowlesi which is a rare type but very fuliminant.
Little did I know that the infection was so fulminant that he would deteriorate into septic shock in a few hours of the diagnosis !By that time he had been febrile for only 4 days.
That he is alive today is thanks to the skills of some specialist doctors as well as some very sophisticated instruments and I think the prayers of many people!

Here is something I wrote to a friend:

Indeed it was very difficult but I never gave up hope and what helped me very much was that the anaesthetist Dr Lilly Ng who managed him when he was in septic shock never gave up on him even when the odds were stacked against him . I have a great deal of respect for people like her , she almost did not sleep for 2 days adjusting the dose of the inotropes he was put on to maintain his BP. Had she slept his BP may have dropped and he would be lost to me and to all.It was like walking a tightrope , if she gave too much his heart would give out and the vasoconstriction would have its own adverse effects and too little the BP would drop to beyond recovery. At one point she had put him on 4 inotropes and had pushed the respirator to 100% oxygen with a peep of 18 and she had said at that point , my back is to the wall, if he does not respond , I have no more room to negotiate.I think at that point , all we could do was to pray....I had sat for hours,my eyes rivetted to the monitor recording his vital signs.

I am still trying to understand the significance of what happened, how my husband was hovering on the brink of death , when he collapsed , he was 2 minutes away from being brain dead , because he developed a severe ARDS ( Adult respiratory distress syndrome) and turned blue! Dr Lilly Ng leaped into action . She was at his side when he collapsed, coughed out blood streaked phlegm and then turned blue.She intubated him, bagged him and then hooked him onto the respirator in a matter of minutes , on the wrong side of the bed for her..she had to reach across to do it, there was no time to move to the other side.

He had 4 organ failure:
The repiratory system
The circulation
The blood system( thrombocytopaenia and haemolysis of red blood cells)
The kidneys ( went into renal shut down for 10 days , is recovering now)

He is still in hospital but gradually getting better.
I am trying to write down what happened , in the hope of finding the meaning of it all.

I have so many questions and no answers

Why did he have to fall sick so far away from home? It is as if he went there to get admitted to hospital because he never attended the meeting. But I also got to know a whole new way of being ..the Malaysians in East Malaysia were a lot more gentle and easy going that the ones here in West Malaysia. They ate more vegetables, their food had much less spices and salt and their drinks were less sweet. Their lives were not so stressed. The ICU nurses were most amazing. They were working with very sick people , surrounded by an atmosphere of the very ill and the dying and they worked efficiently quietly and skillfully and calmly . Most of all they were more caring and compassionate. All of the nurses and most of the doctors were shining examples of the medical profession at their best.
Why did he have to get a very rare infection? Where did he catch it?( He was in the jungle 2 weeks previously but the P Knowlesi has an incubation of only one week). Why did he also get a rare complication: optic neuritis..his vision was severely imparied when they finally took him off the sedatives and muscle relaxants they put him on when they put him on respirator. The prognosis for this condition is hopeful and he is slowly recovering his vision.
Why had it turned so fulminant ?( In most people Malaria is not dangerous)
Why was he so near to death and then now recovering in half the expected time? ( The anaesthetist Dr Tai and Dr Ng told me they did his Apache score and he scored in the 80% fatality but she also said that my husband is not a statistic and I hung on to that part of what she said).Dr Ng and Dr Tai had brought with them( from Kuala Lumpur) a very powerful and also potentially dangerous drug Active protein C , tradenamed Xigris. It was only to be used when the Apache score was very high , like it was for my husband. The drug cost RM 50,000 for the 2 vials. I think this was the time I was most grateful that my husband is a senior administrator ( Medical) in the government health ministry earning chicken feed in terms of salary .The Director General of Health sent 5 specialists to Kota Kinabalu to consult with the doctors there on management and they kept an ongoing communication after they went back to Kuala Lumpur..a fine example of telemedicene.I did notice his blood pressure stabilised and they could take him off all 4 inotropes within 3 days . He was put on the Xigris within the first 24 hours of the crisis.

Some of these questions will never be answered..but what I am asking myself is how did I fare and how will it change him and change me and change the family , my life and his life ..for sure something like this changes people.

Here are several things I learnt though:

I met some extremly caring people who were very sincere
Doctors perform very well and cooperate very well together in a crises and start arguing and disagreeing when the crisis is over.
It is difficult to accept help gracefully sometimes and very difficult to deal with well meaning people who kept coming . I think I have to learn to just be quiet and tell when I wanted to be alone.
Next time I visit very ill friends I must make the visit very short, speak little and pray a lot for their healing
People said I was strong but I think I was not strong , I was hopeful , maybe foolishly so , but it helped to have hope.
I learned of my capacity to deal with crisis and also my lack of capacity ( ie I could see my strengths and weaknesses). I found myself picking on a member of my family . A lot of things got resolved in the process..It was illness and it brought out unhealthy dynamics in my immediate family ie my children and myself and the best part is that it healed a lot of old festering feelings within me and within them.
I realised how connected energywise I was to all my loved ones. I had felt where his worse problem was, my chest felt warm for most of the days he was critically ill with ARDS and totally dependent on the respirator.. At one point I felt a headache and all this time I kept doing healing for him , sometimes by zikr, sometimes with my breath and sometimes by touch .A CT scan later showed he may have had an ischaemic stroke but there were no other symptoms except a weakness in the left arm which is resolving. 3 of my children and my sister in law could also feel the heat in the chest and the pain in the head.
There were so many groups praying for him I was amazed. Prayers were held in many parts of the country and by people of many faiths , Muslims, Budhist, Hindus and Christians. We have many friends and belonged to many groups. I really learned the power of prayers.
Planeloads of friends , colleagues and relatives took the flight to KK to see him..I was completely amazed!Perhaps I never knew how beloved my husband was.I was seeing a side of him I did not know.

I learned to sharpen my skill at transmitting homeopathic remedies by sending thought waves of the remedy. I could feel which were the remedies needed and could also feel at which potency they were needed.

postscript:

I had this anonymous comment on this post:

So many words being said but none thanking Allah. "There were so many groups praying for him I was amazed. Prayers were held in many parts of the country and by people of many faiths , Muslims, Budhist, Hindus and Christians. We have many friends and belonged to many groups. I really learned the power of prayers" Do you mean prayers from any person of any religion are equal in the estimation of Allah?

My answer
I did not need to say Allah because Allah is on my mind all the time as I wrote this. The miracle that happened was a blessing from Allah, why did I need to say it since I felt it flowed throughout the writing?Who answers the prayers if not Allah? Why does it have to be mentioned? For the God conscious , Allah is present with them in every word written .
As for people of all faiths praying. I am not the person to judge if they are equal or not in Allah's estimation. I have never put myself on the same level as Allah and have no knowledge of it.
Anyway just for your information experiments done (by non Muslims scientists ) concluded that praying for people who were sick in the hospital found a statistically significant improved cure rate over patients not prayed for. It was a double blind study to find out about the power of prayer. Here is one URL for you to check on it:
http://1stholistic.com/Prayer/hol_prayer_proof.htm

Mt thoughts on prisoners getting tortured and raped and on Chain emails being passed around on the net

I am still soul searching this one out. I do not disagree with Ratna, you or Alini and having done a lot of surfing am satisfied that the email is based on true happenings even if it may be a work of fiction , it is fact based fiction.

So many things on my mind about human behaviour.

Here are some thoughts and some findings I made while soul searching and web surfing

First I found a website that had a completely different point of view over the fiasco in Abu Gharib. The writer , an American, said he is proud that the scandal was discovered, and that it was highlighted by American and guilty parties were put on trial. I do NOT agree with him and it sickens me to read his justification of what happened.

Having said that he went on to say, this would not have happened under the old regime or under some *thug* regimes in the ME. To me it does not justify what happened just because it is a common thing that happens in prisons... ..Then he went on to say that a simulated prison environment was created choosing the actors from common people at random , people known for normal rational behaviour and after some days, some of the completely normal behaviour people started behaving in a bullying manner towards those who were acting as prisoners, The experiment had to be stoppped before its time was up because the *prisoners* were getting pscyhologically unbalanced and the bullying was getting too real.

In my training games we also find out things about participants that surprises the participants . They start to understand under pressure or under some circumstances behaviour changes and sometimes for the worst!!

This does not excuse the soldiers for raping and bullying and torturing but it does tell us that we do not really know whether if we were under the same circumstances we would behave the same way..I truly hope and pray not and I truly hope and pray none of my family colleagues or friends ever find themselves in that situation of being the bully and the perpetrator in such acts inhumanity.

So thinking about human behaviour, and it being that right now a lot of people's humanity are being tested, we are hearing stories about the hypocrisy that is taking place over the distribution of aid, and of soldiers asking for bribes from volunteer workers , of aid being given to the non affected people, of new cloths meant for victims being sold at some pasar malam ...
Of Americans making use of the victims plight to further their agendas...Of rebels and soldiers sabotaging and faming each other:
GAM and the TNI, the Tamil TIgers and the Sri Lanka troops....

We also hear of the selfless struggles of those who truly help without wanting publicity , sacrificing their energy time and money to truly help the victims and we then hear of victims who feel they should not feel upset because they have only lost 3 members of their families while others have lost 10. We hear of victimes more concerned about the wellbeing of the volunteer workers rather than their own plight ..such stories of humanity rising above themselves in valour, in selflesnnes and in their perfection of the human..

So Nabi Isa once said to some of his ummah about them wanting to stone an adulterer, * Let him who has no sins cast the first stone*. Nobody cast any stones that day and we can understand why. No judgement because we oursleves do not know how we will be when tested to extremes of our humanity..

What am I trying to say here? Am I defending the corrupt, the bully , the selfish , the cruel ,the insolent , the beastly?They are already suffering from their lack of humanity.There is a verse in the Quran
Famahilil kafirina amhil hum ruwaida

And toward the kafir, treat him with gentleness

It seem strange, how to treat those who cover truth, those who are false and evil with gentleness ?

It is because of this :anger begets anger.....

There is a story of a holy man who had a follower who was extremely angry with the holy man. The follower was ready to quarrel with the holy man and banged loudly on his door demanding to see him. The man went in and a half hour later came out of the room smiling. People were bewildered and wanted to know what happened. They asked the holy man, and the holy man said He was armed , and I was unarmed. That I was unarmed disarmed him.

I am afraid I am still struggling on this one, how not to be angry in the face of anger but I am practising and finding myself improving on this one. When I face anger, even my own, I center myself in my heart and watch my anger from there. It makes a lot of difference.

What is so different about being a prisoner and being a slave? Yet that is what happened to slaves in the times of old when they were captured....yes even Muslim men used to take their war captives and have their pleasure with them. And what if we were to be that slave? What to do? What about the Khalif Umar who used to torture his slaves before he became Muslim?

Laqad Khalaqnal Insana Fi Ahsani Takweem
Thumma radadna hu asfalasafilin
Verily we created the Human in the best mould and then we brought him to be lower than the beast

Yes, the worst human is worst than the beast the animals and each of us have the ingredients in us to be that ..lower than the beast..

Illalathi na amanu wa amilusalihat

Except those who have faith and do good works

And I pray that we all be in this category

A Healthy Recipe

Other ThotsBroccoli Cheese Soup

Serves 2
Ingredients
1 pound frozen winter-style veggies (broccoli and cauliflower)
1 1/2 cans low-sodium, fat-free chicken broth
1/2 10-ounce can of diced tomatoes or diced tomatoes with green chiles
4-5 ounces low-fat cream cheese, cubed

Instructions
Place the veggies, tomatoes, and broth in a large pot. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer for 40 minutes. Add the cheese and let it melt as you stir it. Mash up veggies or leave them whole.

The Earth Quake and Tsunami of December 26 2004

The Earth Quake and Tsunami of December 26 2004

My Dear Friends
What can I say to you in your anguish as you feel the grief you felt when you saw the grief of those who were hit by quake and tsunami? What can I say to you who stayed and watched the tv, inspite of seeing images of grief and more grief?

Yesterday at noon I went pass KFC which is the end shop in my block of shophouses where my clinic is located. It was full of people having a family feast in the last few days of the school holidays. It was a happy crowd, oblivious of the tragedy that happened and is still unfolding a few hundres miles away. This was how they must have been I thought, happy holidaying families on the beach, oblivious of the killer waves travelling towards them at great speed, reaching them before they had time to flee, people hit by wave upon wave, dashed against rocks, sent spinning and sprawling and drowning...

When there is a disaster of this magnitude, one of the first things I do is pray. Pray for the well being of the souls who were suddenly sent to their bodiless state, in great shock with great suddenness and I pray for those left behind, who were still alive but had suffered losses..loss of family members, loss of belongings , maimed and injured I pray for their peace of mind, I pray for their fortitude , I pray for their patience and I pray for those in a position to go and help them to do so . I make sure I send money at least since I could not take off and see the victims due to my job commitments. I send out e-mail to as many lists as I can here and overseas asking for them to send funds to those in need and I take the time to count my blessings.

It is as if I then look at the comforts I have with new eyes and as I walk on this ground, in this peaceful orderly place that I am in with the people shopping laughing and going about their business in great ease, as if it is a great privilege . a great blessing which I have to be grateful for and have to prostrate myself and thank God for it again and again and again.

Why are there natural disasters of this magnitude? Why does the earth suddenly shift and rumble and send the sea raging mad washing everything it smashes against , sending carefully made dwellings and infrastructure tumbling down , totally destroyed?

Renewal I thought, a renewal! God's view is not my view . I see what my limited vision sees, God sees and knows beyond my limited vision. What is destroyed will rebuild and regenerate. Ya Muhyi, Ya Muid. Oh Life giver, Oh Regenerator ! Thy holy names comfort me!

I remember a hadith of the Prophet where distraught parents of drowned children asked the Prophet to pray that their lifeless children be brought back to life. The Prophet did pray but then he told the parents, that the children were in a more beautiful place and were very happy where they were and did not want to come back.
Many of the people who died were among the poorest of the poor. They lived from hand to mouth , with very little comforts.

Were they now in a better place, happier , more at peace, in bliss? I pray so!
As for the victims who are left behind and suffering various losses. We who are not the victims are here for them. We are God's representative on this earth and all those who are suffering are our responsibility, we who have the power to help in one way or another.

Use your power, be it the power of the word, the power of your money and worldly goods, or the power of your hands lips and tongues to give aid , to comfort, to console , to rebuild

Prophet Issa - Resist Not Evil

That is a saying of the Prophet Issa(saw);in my opinion it would mean what you resist persists. Sort of like making war for peace.
Perhaps ultimately what is coming at you is coming from you as it
said.

My thoughts:
Here is my understanding of what it means , besides what Hazrat Inayat Khan said.
Do you notice that pointing out and correcting people or criticising almost never results in something postive because the person reacts to what is said by persisting in doing what was said against?
Another example I can think of is when dealing with delinquent children.
Telling them what they do is wrong and then punishing them harshly
makes them more delinquent.
What seems to be a better solution is to use firm kindness,
Even in situations where punsihment is necessary , it should not come from a position of resisting evil ie getting angry over the evil deed.
It should come from a position of love.
A hadith about Ali blessings upon him is that he was about to kill a person in a war situation . The person spat at his face and he stopped the action and let the man go. The man was surprised and asked why and Ali replied, "I was about to kill you *in the way of Allah* until you spat in my face and then I got angry and I was afraid I would then kill you out of anger."
I was watching the new King Arthur , very different from the romantic musical I saw previously and another version some time ago. In this version it was made more realistic and I m not sure if it is a historically more correct version. Does not matter though , the point is that for the first time I could watch a movie with savage killing and not flinch or close my eyes.
I think it is because I finally came to realise that war and fighting is a human condition.It is I think the most difficult test of our humanity and it is a time when we really have to resist evil and if we do not,we will join that evil . The character in the film that was Arthur did this, he resisted evil while fighting in a war and earned the respect of friend and foe.( In this version Arthur was a leader of a small band of knights forced to fight for the Romans in the name of the church . The Romans finally abandoned Britain when the Saxons started to invade and Arthur with the help of local natives won against the Saxons against all odds and that was the beginning of his Kingship.)

Healers getting sick

Salam to all,

Murshid Hazrat who was a healer died young. So did Krishamurthy and another great healer, Bruno Groenig.

Bruno's case was rather strange. He was a healer who could heal very big groups of people and his presence at any location brought crowds of people .
This upset the government at that time and a law was passed to stop him from healing. He said that if he was not allowed to healing, he would die. ( the healing energy which needed to be used or it would turn in? I know of a young man who said he needed to give a massage to his friends to avoid getting bodyache and heatiness. )]
Anyway, after he was prevented from healing, he had some lung problem and when they finally did an X Ray he had a tumour and they operated and were shocked to find the extent of the tumour and that he managed to live life almost normally with such an advanced tumour.. The operation killed him

His followers who still do a healing circle claim that his healing energy is available for any who wants to tune in on it.

To know about all this is to understand that there is so much about healing that we do not understand.

One of the most difficult things for me to learn is to understand that sometimes when i feel something, it is not mine and to learn not to react to it but in learning how not to react, I also learned to treat my own experiences in a detached manner ie to step back from one;s own experience and to look at it in a impersonal way.

I think what kills healers is grief. It is one of the most difficult things to be impersonal about and indeed there is so much to grieve in the world of the material