The key is to not resist or rebel against emotions or to try to get around them by devising all sorts of tricks; but to accept them directly, as they are."
-- Takahisa Kora
Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance."
-- Deepak Chopra
"We have to become more conscious of our feeling-world. By learning to identify the ‘emotional baggage’ and manage our feeling-world reactions, we can view life based on current information instead of being held captive by our past."
-- Doc Childre
"Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge."
-- Audre Lorde
Tomorrow I hope Lokman Hakim will come with his parents. I think I have gotten to the root of his anger. It is jealousy pure and simple.When his mum related the reason for his latest episode of abusive speech and aggression , I realised it was all about attention, negative attention.
I had already given him remedies for anger and I was pretty sure they also had something for jealousy but I now have to focus on the jealousy rather than the anger..
How difficult it is to have a ten year old son with so much anger and aggression..
8 comments:
My 18yr+ son has made statements that show resentment towards his younger, 12yr old brother. To me, his reasons and anger pertaining to this issue is totally absurd as my hubby and I have never shown preferances that are undue for the youngest offspring. He too, has so much ire and angst in him. I wish I can bring him to see you. But I am sure he will resist as he would do in so many things I suggest off late. *sigh*
Dr Roza
He is trying out his independence and rebelliousness is an 18 year old's stance. He will outgrow it as did my sons.Sibling jealousy will always be present but between my 5 kids have never been serious because they are very close to one another.When your son learns to love his siblings then there will be less jealousy.I guess you could gain his support by asking his opinion more and treating him as a grown up ..he will behave more like one when we do that .
What if the loving is and has always been one sided, and never been reciprocated. What if for years and years of loving and giving, to the extent that you feel that you have been taken for granted, should you still continue with that unconditional loving of one who is NOT appreciative at all??
Dear Pycno,
This is where what J said previously in one of his comments comes in to play.
What is the intention behind loving someone? If it is unconditional love, the source of the love is the LOVE ie the eternal LOVE of the Divine.This source of love is unlimited and could not dry up no matter what.True we as humans have our off moments..but these off moments are the small ripples on the surface of the lake while the depth remains loving , unconditionally.
I would not be able to say this if I had not experienced it myself .Giving and giving and giving...until I found the joy in giving is not in getting back but in giving..But it would be nice to be both giving and getting.
:) Am coming to grips with such issues myself, but more pertaining to (what I see as) unfair and unrealistic expectations. I am trying to tell myself that such negative emotions, although to a certain extent are justified, stem from a feeling of craving acceptance. And the real acceptance should come from the Eternal One, for it to have any value. *sad smile* I am accepting the fact that I probably will always be unappreciated in certain matters (alhamdulillah I have a lot to be thankful for, so what is a little matter like this?), but I must: a) practice lots of sabr b) show more empathy and compassion c) always be thankful d) try to keep my notorious temper in check. :D
It is as Nurelhuda said, Pycno, the Eternal One will ALWAYS be appreciative of your sincere efforts. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'Alamiin.
aaahhhh....the anger, sometimes it manages to get the better of us, when we fail to notice it.
Kenakalayan , Ana
I think all of us have anger issues. What is needed I feel is to understand the reason for the anger and then deal with it and stop it at the source. A lot of people are angry because they do not communicate their needs. I wrote about my workstation previously. Actually how it came about is that my workstation is a result of my asking about my anger. I have another work station which my kids also like to use and is in a place that I do not like to go to at night , and I am a night person so it frustrates me not to be able to work at night. I got angry with the children and felt I was being
compromised somehow and I was being stopped from doing my work, when in actual fact these were all my own doing.So I was pretty awful nagging and bitching about my kids using my computer etc..I sat with my anger and realised what I needed was a workstation in my bedroom..Believe it or not everybody helped out....
Here is my workstation post
http://gentleways.blogspot.com/2005/10/this-is-my-new-workstation.html
like i mentioned before, sometimes i find it's really hard for me to rein in my temper.
i learn much this post.. thank you.
Post a Comment