The young girl who came into my consultation room burst into tears the minute she got in. She did not look like a minah karan ( to borrow a term some of you had in your blogs)but she told me she was an operator in Kilang Cubic at Air Keroh. I did not quite buy that , she did not look the part. She had the air of a student . I asked her about it and true enough she was waiting to do her degree having finished her diploma in IT.
She told me how a few days back , she no longer could control her actions. She broke down an cried because of severe pain in her body. Yesterday she walked out from her job on the assembly line without saying a word to her supervisor. She needed to work only one more month but it seems she could not cope. She had been working for a month already.
I handed her 2 paper napkins, one of which got throughly soaked in no time.I listened attentively not interupting except with a small question or two and when she stopped talking I brought my chair nearer to her so that I was facing her closely and I paused for a moment , trying to understand the situation.
I said to her, I think this is a case of a refined soul meeting with much coarser ones. I knew the way the girls in the factory were.They had a herd mentality and they had cliques . Woe if you did not belong! And don' t you dare attract the attention of the male technicians...all of which this girl seemed to have done.
She had to bear with the sharp and wagging tongues , with the negativity surrounding her , with the taunts and snickers and sneers and she was not used to the bitching.
Actually I did not tell her this, the minute I had said to her I think you are affected by negativity , she poured out the whole scenario.
I said to her, consider yourself lucky because you are getting a first hand experience of negative women who know no better way of being. And, you know exactly what to look for when you want to chose a husband. You meet his family and you can evaluate the women in his family so you know which ones you do not want for your relatives.
When self esteem is high, it does not matter what people say about you so hold your head up high. Protect yourself with doa Nur and the verses that give protection namely Al Fatihah and the 3 Quls and imagine Allah's Nur surrounding you like a bubble and their hateful words falling harmlessly to the ground. It is your choice to let the words hurt you or not.The secret here is that they enjoy seeing you hurt but when the words stop hurting you, they also stop doing it for
they see you are no longer affected by what they say.
She told me she felt bad because she had become angry with God and stopped praying for a few days.
I told her God gives us tough love to help us be strong and grow in spirit and that if she lived to be a thousand years and did not pray but started praying 3 days before she died, God would count that more than the thousand years she did not pray for God is Ar Rahman and Ar Rahim,
Merciful and Compassionate, All Forgiving.
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6 comments:
You have a beautiful heart.
I should have myself to be consulted by you, I guess.
I am having problem with my lady boss.
She must have known that this GP deals with the heart! :) Alhamdulillah she found you. And I bet she'll make return visits just to seek advice from you.
You meet his family and you can evaluate the women in his family so you know which ones you do not want for your relatives.
I find this statement very interesting. If only we can chose! But in reality you can't help but marrying into a family which may have one or two of such 'painful' characters!
But frankly speaking if I get such patient it will drain me tremendously. Wonder how you cope if you get several in a day?
Dr Roza
It is not draining if we are connected with zikr to Allah. So just bear in mind next time you come across such a needy
patient, you send a prayer to Allah , Ya Rab please help this person , heal their woundedness and help them find peace and help them grow in spirit. I used to think I needed to DO something about it until I realised sometimes we can only give emotional , spiritual support and the person has to work it out themselves.
About toxic relatives, in general if the family is toxic, it would be a heartache to marry into the family. We never marry one person , we marry the family because all the spouse's relatives become ours. I suppose in the west where family can be left out of the equation it may be that the family does not affect the couple but in our country, not yet.I know of a few couples whose marriage broke up because of relatives interfering .
Another stupid question :)...when do you indulge in dzikr? All the time? Or specific appointed times of your day? Most of the time, I get conscious about making dzikr is when I'm on the road driving and post prayers, of course.
Dr Roza
Lately I am noticing I zikr all the time.It goes in and out with the breath.Because I do heart rythm breathing, which is a spiritual practice, I am conscious of my breath and thus with the breath comes the zikr. It can be learned but you would need a spiritual teacher .
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